Why You Need To Tell Me When It’s Time To Call It Quits

My Dad was a winner. In every sense of the word. He wasn’t famous. Or rich. Didn’t have any degrees. Never even went to High School. He was an immigrant who came to this country with a strong work ethic, burning desire to succeed, and a dream. And he fulfilled that dream. He was no quitter. He was a winner.

But he didn’t know when to quit.

Wait a minute. Isn’t that contradictory?

Well, no. What I mean is, he did not know when to call it a day, when the sun had set on his career. Much like an aging athlete, who has slowed a step or two, body aching from the toll taken through the years, whose batting average has slipped below three hundred over the last several seasons, no longer able to consistently throw runners out at the plate.

I saw it with my own eyes. The last several years, still a formidable man, but less effective than in his prime. Until finally, I got the call from his boss. “I don’t know how to say this to your old man. He shouldn’t really be working here anymore. I need you to tell him.”

Well, I had a thing or two to tell that guy. I thought, “what a coward!” But then, I realized that my Dad was the kind of man that would not take that news well. I grudgingly understood why his boss did not want to tell him. After all, winners hate losing, and Dad would definitely see this one as a loss. So, I broke the news. Arguably, the toughest discussion I have EVER had, with anyone.

Here is my point: You need to know when to hold them, and when to fold them.

Seth Godin said it best — “Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.”

So those of you I hold very dear, or those that are good friends, or those even casual acquaintances, just in case I am like my Dad, I invite you.

If I haven’t figured it out on my own, feel free to tell me: Henry, dude, it’s time for you to call it quits…

Leave me a reply below. I’d love to know your thoughts, even if you violently disagree!

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE

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A Cancer Diagnosis Makes a Person Sit Up and Take Notice – Part V


How many “times” have you heard that TIME is a valuable commodity?

  • Time is of the essence
  • You can’t make up for lost time
  • The clock is ticking
  • Time is money
  • So much to do, and so little time

You get the picture…

But, I didn’t get it. Not really. Not for the longest time (pun intended). Until that day…

How I found that the Cancer in my colon had metastasized to the liver was a bit bizarre. I suppose the cancer wasn’t satisfied taking root in my colon, knowing that it was rather easy (relatively speaking) for a surgeon to remove it. So it decided to take residence in my liver.

Cancer can be like that, you know. Makes itself at home, and takes over, room by room.

I had been diagnosed with Colon Cancer by a Urologist after the Colonoscopy, and he had referred me to a really unique surgeon. Sole practitioner, cowboy boots, and a expansive sense of humor. Called himself the A**hole Doctor, since much of his practice was related to that part of the anatomy.

But, I digress…

The surgeon was very confident he could remove the colon section in question, and I would be good to go. He requested a CT scan, and scheduled me for the surgery.

The day of the surgery, as I was headed to the waiting area, my wife and I stopped in the medical records department, and requested a copy of the CT Scan results. Metastasis.

I finally got what all the fuss was, about this thing called Time, and it actually stood still. It did. It can actually do that, you know. Well, truth be told, it just seems to do that when something that really sucks, just smacks you between the eyeballs. And a metastasis just has a way of doing that. Bam!

But here is what I really want to say to you about Time:

Regardless of when you finally figure out that time is valuable, irrespective of how you figure it out, accept this blinding flash of the obvious as a gift. Because it is.

From that moment on, make the most of time. Swear to yourself that you will strive, every single day of the rest of your life to do the following 5 things:

  1. Savor every moment you can.
    Savor that ice cream, your wife’s smile, the laughter of your kids, the smell of a mowed lawn or a freshly baked batch of blueberry muffins, the songbird’s sweet melody, or the sound of rain on the roof.
  2. Don’t sweat the small, insignificant, petty stuff.
    When you really come down to it, the VAST majority of stuff in this world is small and petty and insignificant. It just is! Why get your knickers in a knot about that stuff?
  3. Slow down and pay attention to the beauty in the details, and learn something new every day.
    Don’t gloss over the beauty in the details. Find out how things work, and why. Whether it’s learning how to speak a few words in a foreign language, figuring out how hummingbirds hover, what honey is made of (OK, this one will be a little gross), how a tiny speck of sand can turn into a pearl, what chemicals farts are made of (trying to make a point here!), it does not really matter. Just learn new stuff. Every day.
  4. Stop to reflect at the end of each day.
    What you got accomplished. What went well. What could have gone better. What was left undone. Take inventory.
  5. Be gracious. Show gratitude. Give thanks.
    Don’t take what people do for granted. Don’t minimize their efforts and deeds. And above all, don’t gloss over just how valuable it was to live yet another day.

If you do these things, I can literally guarantee you that from this moment on, you will find fulfillment, and your life will change. You will change. And you won’t ever question again if you have truly accomplished something truly great. Because you have. You have accomplished the greatest act of all.

You have learned how to value TIME. Hopefully, I pray for your sake, without a Cancer diagnosis…

I always welcome your thoughts and comments, even when you don’t agree with me. I don’t have all the answers. Heck, I don’t even have the questions half the time. Drop me a line. Leave comments in the LEAVE A REPLY box below.

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE.

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A Cancer Diagnosis Makes a Person Sit Up and Take Notice – Part IV

Magic Cure

I did some research just to see how many “silver bullets” or “magic cures” I could find for cancer. I got tired and stopped counting at 142. I ‘d bet anything there are 10 times that number.

Let me be clear. I am not a doctor. I am not a scientist.I am not a medical researcher, biologist, biochemist, nor do I have any medical training. And please don’t get on my case that don’t know what I am talking about, and that I didn’t look at Dr. Euphoria’s Jimsonweed Extract or 12 Carrots a Day.

I have cancer. And, a lot of common sense and some intelligence. And after doing my own reading, and research, and talking to a few experts, I chose a path.

I am glad I did.

I know there are stories of someone who was cured doing X, Y, or Z, be it Urine Therapy, Neuro-linguistic Programming, Ear Candling, Emu’s Head Extract (yes, for real), Homeopathy, the Budwig Protocol, using an Orgone Accumulator or any of the 130 plus other quackeries I found. I just don’t buy it.

My advice: Talk to real experts, read, pray, and then make the very best decision you can for you.

“Steve Jobs died regretting that he had spent so long attempting to treat his cancer with alternative medicine before agreeing to undergo surgery, his biographer has disclosed.” — www.telegraph.co.uk

If there was a Magic Cure, there would be no more Cancer. I hope someday soon, I pray to God, mankind finds one. This disease sucks…

I always welcome your thoughts and comments, even when you don’t agree. I don’t have all the answers. Heck, I don’t even have the questions half the time. Drop me a line. Leave comments in the LEAVE A REPLY box below.

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE.

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A Cancer Diagnosis – Part III


My Family

This is Part III of the series on Cancer Diagnosis Themes.

For me, right after my diagnosis, a very early thought that embedded itself in my mind, sticking there like a rusty nail, eating in to my thoughts every day, was “What will my family do? How can I take care of my family?”

This is only natural, and having talked with more than a few cancer clinic waiting-room inhabitants, it’s pretty common. In addition to the incredible stress the

But it’s not the right focus. Here’s why.

I am not suggesting one should not care about their family. I care deeply about mine. And they have been instrumental in my healing and recovery. What I am saying is that you need to focus on and take care of self first, or you will not be around long enough to do your family any good.

A certain amount of selfishness here is called for:

  • Get your priorities straight
  • Focus on your recovery, healing, treatment, and psyche,
  • Then you can then take care of the other very important things in life.

Without strength and health, you won’t be able to get it together enough to care for your family.

Fix you, then a healthier, more together you can help the family.

What do you think? There is a LEAVE A REPLY box below. Would love to hear your views.

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE.


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Why You Should Not Fake It Until You Make It

Image result for fake it

It is ironic that the guy who said, “Call it ‘fake it ’til you make it’, call it ‘smoke and mirrors’, call it whatever you want” lasted only 10 days as the communications director for the “fake news” obsessed White House. It is also kind of ironic that casino magnate Steve Wynn got his “good friend’s” name wrong. Wynn referred to Scaramucci as Andy and Andrew,  instead of Anthony, when he made the opening remarks at the inaugural SkyBridge Alternatives (SALT) Conference in Las Vegas in May of 2009. Seems that perhaps faking it until you make it does indeed have its price.

I like to think so.

Some disagree. After all, there is allegedly some “science” behind the whole “Fake It Until You Make It” approach to life and business. It serves as one of the underlying principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), where it can serve as a means to enable a change in one’s behavior. Simplistically speaking, the theory says that if you “act as if” you are already a certain way, it is easier to achieve being that way.

But the point is: Its supposed to be a temporary condition!!!!! You are not supposed to Fake It forever!

I’m not going to get into the details of the science, nor will I debate CBT,  which in my opinion happens to be a sound practice for improving mental health. What I am going to do, is to give you the 5 reasons why “faking it” is not such a good idea.

  1. Reeks of being inauthentic – I understand the “gist” of how some people interpret the “fake it” mantra. But overall, I think it’s pretty inauthentic. I’m not into faking…
  2. Fools you into believing you don’t really need to learn – You might be learning as you go, and as long as you are learning and making progress, all is good. But don’t lull yourself into a false sense of thinking you can do, just because you say you can…
  3. Implies taking short cuts is a good practice – In the end, there is no substitute for actually having skills and expertise. Superficial knowledge might just eventually get you in trouble. I have found that in driving, much like in life, most shortcuts lead to a big ditch or a flat tire…
  4. Discourages you from putting in real time – Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you know enough to get by, and then have that get in the way of learning and gaining the skills. Put in the time.
  5. Draining to always be faking it – Isn’t it a drain of energy to be pretending you know? I would be under stress all the time, thinking someone is going to call me out, or expose big gaps in skills or knowledge. What a drain of mental, emotional and physical energy. I’d rather spend the time actually getting smarter and better!

I’m all for being positive. I am totally in favor of on the job training, and I support learning as you go. But these all imply a process. They are about growth and evolution of skills and knowledge. It’s not a superficial facade of saying you are or know something you are truly not or don’t know.

So the long and the short of it for me is, get to where you need to be. Put in the time. Stop faking it!

What do you think? There is a LEAVE A REPLY box below. Would love to hear your views.

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE.


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A Cancer Diagnosis Will Make You Sit Up and Take Notice – Part II


Beating This

Feeling like you can beat whatever has knocked you down, whatever has brought you to your knees, is a good state of mind to be in. You need positivity.

But it’s not enough.

Positivity is a thought. It’s good thinking. It’s a mental and emotional state. Now you need to follow through with actions. Actions are what will conquer the demon that has a hold of you.

I’m not going to recommend what actions you should take, to battle and win against your specific monster, be it Cancer, Addiction, an Abusive Spouse, or other illnesses, conditions or life threatening issues. That is way too personal. The required and specific actions are yours and yours alone to determine and take.

Besides, I am not an expert in many of these fields. But, there ARE many experts out there, that have addressed your particular issue(s), and have a lot of experience helping others battle and win against their particular monster.

Seek them out. I am living proof, as are many others, that you can indeed BEAT THIS!

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE.

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A Cancer Diagnosis Will Make You Sit Up and Take Notice

“It doesn’t look good man” was his answer. I had just asked the surgeon for a prognosis.

He referred me to an Oncologist. After seeing her, she said to me, “You probably have a year, maybe 18 months. It’s hard to say definitively. If you would like, I can sign the paperwork for you to start Social Security Disability benefits”.


My world had just started to crumble around me. Time stood still.

What do I do now?

What’s the use of going on?

What have I done with my life?

These are just a few of the questions that ran through my mind. A whole set of other crazy bizarre thoughts did as well. Some too crazy to state here.

But some major themes stood out. Some best forgotten, some a “must deal with”. Such as:

  • Denial
  • Beating This
  • My Family
  • Magic Cure
  • Unsolicited Advice
  • Time

I’ll share my thoughts on Denial today, the rest in future installments of this story.


Perhaps some people who are diagnosed with cancer don’t ever slip into denial. Maybe some do for just a fleeting instant, and then get their heads back on straight. Others, never seem to emerge from the deep dark cave that is denial. Me, I retreated into that cave for a not so pleasant period of time. Even now, almost three years later, I shudder to think of it.

Back then, at first, I curled up into a ball, and screamed silently for the world to go away. Plain old paralyzing fear, self pity, this can’t be happening to me kind of stuff. You name it. I felt it. Deny, deny, deny.

Denial seems to be the psyche’s natural multi purpose coping mechanism. It’s not logical. Far from practical. Totally irrational. But, it is real. Oh so real. There’s no denying denial…

Facing and conquering the state of denial is the absolute and most necessary first step in dealing with the big C. Denial never got me anywhere, anytime for anything. And as my rational mind began to wrap this head around that, I began to slowly crawl out, then stand up and walk, then finally run out of that cave, never to return.

If you find yourself in denial after a cancer diagnosis, not able to move, looking around, in that cave, not able to muster the strength and wherewithal to beat back your psyche, get help. Or call or write to me. I’ll help you. Do it. You can’t afford any of your precious time in that deep dark cave.

To be continued…

You can read my blog HERE, connect on Twitter HERE, LinkedIn HERE and Facebook HERE. You can send me an email HERE.

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